The Pledge

It is official...I'm a moody broody and it has to stop!  Yes, today I am all about the positive and hereby pledge not to do any of the following:

• Think about baby names (not even once!)
• Plan the nursery 
• Even consider the possibility that perhaps I could be pregnant despite having just had a period 
• Torture myself by looking at infertility/early signs of pregnancy information on the internet
• Berate myself for leaving it so long to start trying (I was 34)
• Imagine myself as an old lady, alone and unable to pluck my mono-brow with only my cats and regrets for company 
• Cry

And lastly and most importantly:

• Feel sorry for myself

This last pledge is important as it turns out it doesn't really get you anywhere other than miserable and puffy eyed...neither of which are a good look.  It is also really, really draining not just for me but the people I love and care about who are amazingly supportive but let's face it are only human, can only take so much and have their own stuff to deal with.  Apparently it isn't all about me?!?!?

So, it occurs to me that I need to find something to fill the enormous void that all this feeling sorry for myself will leave.  Here are some ideas I plan to explore:

• Start writing a blog...so far so good!
• Finish my novel ("bloody well get on with it then" I hear the man of my dreams whisper lovingly in my ear)
• Enjoy planning our forthcoming wedding/honeymoon based on what we want now and not on whether I will be pregnant by then (and that goes for life in general I guess)
• Learn to play at least one song well on my guitar (it has been sitting there for a year covered in dust and not a chord learnt so far)
• Yoga and meditation (I know it works, I always feel better for it so why don't I do it everyday?)
• Knit more (almost as good as meditation)
• Get outside more (walk, garden, take more photos etc.)
• Read more
• Watch less utter crap on TV and get on with all of the above!

This is the pledge I make today. I will keep you posted...